About
It started with a near death heartbreak.
My marriage of twenty years was coming apart, it had been heading in a difficult direction for a while, we had been working on it and I was thinking things were going better, then in an incredibly short time it was as if it all dissolved almost overnight. In some surreal twilight zone instance my whole reality was upended. The dream of family I had cherished since childhood died.
I decided then and there I would learn all about what was causing this, how it could be different, and how I could take that information to others to save them the pain and so they may more easily know joy. So I set about on this mission to bring together everything I could to help create a resource that empowers people to achieve wellbeing and joy in their relationships.
About: Attachement Theory
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Attachment theory, developed by John Bowlby and expanded by Mary Ainsworth, explains how early caregiver bonds shape adult relationships, defining four styles: Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Disorganized.
Dr. Sue Johnson used this framework in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) to help couples understand their underlying emotional needs that are driving conflict, thus helping in fostering deeper connection.
The Theory, validated by decades of research, shows that humans are biologically wired to form strong emotional bonds (attachments) for survival, starting with primary caregivers in infancy, which forms a blueprint for future relationships, influencing trust, intimacy, and emotional regulation. The Four Attachment Styles are:
- Secure: Comfortable with intimacy and independence, trusting partners, communicating needs effectively.
- Anxious (Preoccupied): Fears abandonment, seeks constant reassurance, can be clingy.
- Avoidant (Dismissive): Values independence, uncomfortable with closeness, emotionally distant.
- Disorganized (Fearful-Avoidant): Craves intimacy but fears it, inconsistent behaviors, often linked to trauma.
Dr. Sue Johnson & EFT
- Dr. Sue Johnson is a leading figure in attachment-based therapy, known for developing Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples.
- EFT helps partners identify negative patterns (like "pursuer-withdrawer" cycles) driven by unmet attachment needs, revealing underlying fears and longings for connection, turning distress into secure bonding.
About: Me
Todd Smith
Amazing bluebird day in Mammoth with the kids.
Some of the best days of your life have not happened yet.
I was born in a war zone to an alcoholic addict mother and a narcissistic anger issues father. I knew trauma from day one. Crazy was the norm.
It has taken me over fifty years, and decades of introspection, counseling, and personal development, to get to where I was able to understand how that childhood was impacting the way I was in relationships. When my marriage ended I was determined to understand what happened, and learn how to do things differently.
So I went out and sought training and certification in all the latest understandings and research of leading thinkers in the field of marriage and family science, including; Dr. Sue Johnson's work in Attachment Theory, Dr. John Gottman's work on Healthy Happy Relationships, and Harville Hendrix and Helen LaKelly Hunt's work on the concept of Imago Therapy.
In my professional career I am an Education and Human Performance Improvement professional. My graduate studies were in Organizational Development and Leadership and it is my passion to help others achieve success. In my professional career I have over thirty years experience in corporate training and education; creating and delivering training materials and courses to help others achieve success in their work. Helping others achieve success is my professional passion. Over the years I have supported the education of thousands of people through sales, customer success, job skills, soft skills and technical training programs I have developed and conducted. If you would like to see more about my professional background, please feel free to check out my LinkedIn page.
Here at Art of Attachment I bring together my formal training and my direct personal understanding of attachment with my passion and decades of experience and training in the field of education and human performance to help teach people how to have healthy happy relationships. I look forward to applying those knowledges, skills and experiences to helping you achieve success in your relationship and be able to have a healthier, happier, more joyful life experience together.
*Please note I am a Relationship Coach, not a licensed therapist. I do not provide therapy services in the traditional sense, my focus is on providing information, knowledge and education, along with Human Performance Improvement coaching, to help address and resolve relationship challenges and create secure, lasting, joyful relationships.
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Level I Clinical
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Level II Clinical
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7 Principles for Making Marriage Work
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Bringing Baby Home
About: Art of Attachment
A Holistic Solution
I have done over a decade of therapy over my life and tried dozens of different approaches. Each approach is amazing and trailblazing in its own area of focus. However, each one only focused on one part of the puzzle. The cognitive and behavioral, left out the emotional, the emotional left out the cognitive behavioral, and most did not give any attention to the physiological. So I started thinking about how to bring them together in a holistic way that would blend them systematically together and help be able to get the best of them all together.
A Full Stack Model
So I created a holistic blended systems approach that combines the best of the best from leading researchers into one comprehensive approach. It starts with the foundation grounded in Attachment Theory, it then layers in the impacts of trauma and physiological aspects, after that it adds the emotional, then cognitive and behavioral, and lastly tops with the potential for spiritual and greater connection.
A Clear Defined Process
I also use a very clear and defined process, this isn't endless open ended "talk therapy," this is focused skills building coaching. Typically estimate about seven to nine months of bi-weekly sessions to complete the program.
Goals
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Reduce Divorce
Recent science has found the keys to relationship happiness and we help couples learn and apply them
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Increase “Very Happy” Marriages
Increases in relationship knowledge and skills result in happier relationships
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Increase Childhood Happiness
Children who grow up in more functional families are happier and learn better how to manage life
Contact Us
Please click Contact Us above with any questions or if there is any way we may be of help