Nearly a quarter of the people in the world have an Anxious Attachment style, and for those of us who do, it can be almost overwhelming at times. This style is based upon a relationship with our primary caregiver as a child that was inconsistent or non-existent, causing us as infants to always be on the alert and anxious about how our primary relationship connection may, or may not, show up and be present in our lives. Here are some excellent books on this subject to help you learn and grow into a more secure style.
Anxiously Attached: Becoming More Secure in Life and Love, by Jessica Baum, LMHC
An estimated 47 million Americans identify as having an anxious attachment style, which can make being in relationships turbulent and emotionally taxing for them. According to groundbreaking research in the field of attachment, anxious types are more prone to insecurity, jealousy, codependency, and other behaviors that get in the way of finding and sustaining love. In Anxiously Attached, seasoned psychotherapist and couples counselor Jessica Baum guides readers through understanding their attachment style at its core and building the inner strength and self-love that will lead them to more secure and satisfying relationships.
Love Me, Don't Leave Me: Overcoming Fear of Abandonment and Building Lasting, Loving Relationships, by Michelle Skeen, PsyD
Everyone thrives on love, comfort, and the safety of family, friends, and community. But if you are denied these basic comforts early in life, whether through a lack of physical affection or emotional bonding, you may develop intense fears of abandonment that can last well into adulthood―fears so powerful that they can actually cause you to push people away. f you suffer from fears of abandonment, you may have underlying feelings of anger, shame, fear, anxiety, depression, and grief. These emotions are intense and painful, and when they surface they can lead to a number of negative behaviors, such as jealousy, clinging, and emotional blackmail.
Insecure in Love: How Anxious Attachment Can Make You Feel Jealous, Needy, and Worried and What You Can Do About It, by Leslie Becker-Phelps, PhD
Has your romantic partner called you clingy, insecure, desperate, or jealous? No one wants to admit that they possess these qualities; but if you find yourself constantly on the alert, anxious, or worried when it comes to your significant other, you may suffer from anxious attachment, a fear of abandonment that is often rooted in early childhood experiences. In Insecure in Love, you'll learn how to overcome attachment anxiety using compassionate self-awareness, a technique that can help you recognize your negative thoughts or unhealthy behavior patterns and respond to them in a nurturing way.