The core of how all adult relationships work are based upon the attachments we had with our parents as children. Recent research that is just coming out in the last few years has been groundbreaking and for the first time providing real opportunities for people to understand the "hidden forces" that have been driving them and their relationships. Here are some excellent books to help get you going.
Love Sense, by Dr. Sue Johnson
Love is not the least bit illogical or random, but actually an ordered and wise recipe for survival. Love Sense covers the three stages of a relationship and how to best weather them; the intelligence of emotions and the logic of love; the physical and psychological benefits of secure love; and much more. Based on groundbreaking research, Love Sense will change the way we think about love.
Wired for Love, by Stan Tatkin, PsyDWired for Love is a complete insider’s guide to understanding your partner’s brain and enjoying a romantic relationship built on love and trust. Synthesizing research findings on how and why love lasts drawn from neuroscience, attachment theory, and emotion regulation, this book presents ten guiding principles that can improve any relationship.
Attached, by Amir Levine M.D. and Rachel S. F. Heller M.A.
Discover how an understanding of adult attachment—the most advanced relationship science in existence today—can help us find and sustain love. Pioneered by psychologist John Bowlby in the 1950s, the field of attachment posits that each of us behaves in relationships in one of three distinct ways. Attached offers a road map for building stronger, more fulfilling connections.